Don't give up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYetnUxmMPw&feature=related

I posted this before but the video was taken down.

I want to talk about dying. It's not as horrible as one thinks. You have your moments when you're scared and pissed off about it. But there are moments of total beauty. The last few weeks have left me with a feeling of peace. Good kind friends. A man that loves me. A cat that adores me. I'm happy. I'm not sad.

Of course, I'm not so pleased with this. But in all regards, this isn't an awful thing. And nothing is written in stone. Is it?

One way or the other, it's good. So good. So don't worry about me. Honestly. I'm in one of the best places of my life right now. I love it. It's a ride like no other. And it's fun. I get love and life. I get it now. It's beautiful. This is a wonderful thing. There's nothing like it.

Sorry. Wrong song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4_ghOG9JQM&NR=1

I love John Lennon so much

To the people who have done just this for me. You know who you are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEOkxRLzBf0

Butterflies and kindness

The last few days I've had some awesome experiences. Butterflies are landing on me. And often following me down the street. Some have different takes on it. But I think it's a sign of transformation. And I'm down with that. I've always thought the idea of god is just a primal thing. Ugga shoka. But the idea of becoming more than what we are? It's good.

Now. On to the kindness point. I'm having some trouble walking. And I refuse to use a walker. I'm 47 for the love of all. So yesterday a man saw I was having problems and walked me to the corner store, then home. Carlos. Bless him. Today a woman walking her dog saw it too. She tried to help but the dog was troublesome. So a lovely, lovely woman named Margaret took over. She not only walked me home but gave me faith. Made me feel like it isn't so bad. I invited a total stranger into my home. That was a moment.

My point is, be kind. Be true. Don't hate. Imagine a world where all of us do that for each other.

And Lennon got it right. A world without hate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEOkxRLzBf0

Things aren't going very well

I'm sorry to tell you that I may not be here much longer. But to all my good friends, bless you. You held me up when I was down. You gave me hope. You gave me courage. And to those who were not my friends? I forgive you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLHq7rgHOLk

Sorry

Back in the hospital again. Difficult to write. But I'll be back.