Oh the Places I went

I reviewed many places. All over town. And in a few different parts of the country.

Filter by: Location
Chicago, IL (294)
Hollywood, CA (16)
New Orleans, LA (15)
Milwaukee, WI (9)
New York, NY (9)
San Francisco, CA (6)
Madison, WI (4)
Lincolnwood, IL (4)
Skokie, IL (3)
Evanston, IL (3)
Los Angeles, CA (3)
Niles, IL (2)
, (2)
Brooklyn, NY (2)
Elmwood Park, IL (1)
Justice, IL (1)
Riverside, CA (1)
Houston, TX (1)
Glenview, IL (1)
Harwood Heights, IL (1)
Gurnee, IL (1)
Las Vegas, NV (1)
Northbrook, IL (1)
Riverside, IL (1)
Deerfield, IL (1)
Norridge, IL (1)
Whiting, IN (1)
Wheeling, IL (1)
Washington, DC (1)
Beverly Hills, CA (1)
Oak Park, IL (1)
Wittenberg, WI (1)
Lake Forest, IL (1)
Morton Grove, IL (1)
Arlington Heights, IL (1)

Hey, hey, hey Jeremy! What's happening? Keeping busy? Good. I want my work back. Aren't you being a little anal about this? And by little, I mean huge. And by anal, I mean asshole.

My Review of - Women

3 star rating

02/18/2008


I do so love myself. I'm the best. Really. It's true. I never talk back to myself. If I doubt me, I usually make up with me pretty fast. I see eye to eye with me. And I tend to keep it real.

Here's where I leave the beaten path. I do not like the games some women play. You give all of us a bad name with that bullshit. And I know you know what I mean.

So knock it off already. It's boring. And it's obvious. Really obvious. It may not be to some men... but most women know exactly what you're trying to pull and we're disgusted by it.

For every "bridezilla" there is out there, there are 10 perfectly fine gals who wouldn't dream of going into spasms over the wrong kind of cake. Hell, some of us don't even want to get married.

So girls? Keep it real. Behave. Treat your friends and your guy the exact same way. Life will be better. Songs will sound sweeter, food will taste great and everyone can just get along already. Don't bring drama into places it doesn't belong. Save that for role-playing.

People thought this was: Useful (12) Funny (19) Cool (14)

I may need to bring the star level down to two. That would be based on a few yelpettes.

How's it hanging Jerry? May I get my work back yet? You leaking prick.

Reviews, Shemiews. Hours of work? Means nothing.

Let's look at some of my numbers.

Category
Restaurants (153)
Arts & Entertainment (64)
Nightlife (41)
Shopping (41)
Food (38)
Bars (31)
Hotels & Travel (18)
American (Traditional) (17)
Event Planning & Services (16)
Hotels (13)
Specialty Food (12)
Books, Mags, Music and Video (12)
Seafood (11)
Performing Arts (11)
Active Life (11)
Breakfast & Brunch (10)
Pizza (10)
Fashion (10)
Local Flavor (9)
Grocery (9)
Bookstores (9)
Steakhouses (8)
Public Services & Government (8)
Italian (8)
Beauty and Spas (8)
Mass Media (7)
Coffee & Tea (7)
Fast Food (7)
Bakeries (7)
Cinema (7)
Delis (6)
Music Venues (6)
Pubs (6)
Burgers (6)
American (New) (5)
Sandwiches (5)
French (5)
Beer, Wine & Spirits (4)
Chinese (4)
Lingerie (4)
Cajun/Creole (4)
Transportation (4)
Department Stores (4)
Diners (4)
Health and Medical (4)
German (4)
Japanese (4)
Hot Dogs (4)
Home & Garden (4)
Candy Stores (4)
Greek and Mediterranean (4)
Radio Stations (3)
Landmarks & Historical Buildings (3)
Lounges (3)
Toy Stores (3)
Cosmetics & Beauty Supply (3)
Sushi Bars (3)
Gay Bars (3)
Education (3)
Drugstores (3)
Mexican (3)
Sports Bars (3)
Desserts (3)
Parks (3)
Local Services (3)
Dive Bars (3)
Pets (3)
Swimming Pools (2)
Kitchen & Bath (2)
Religious Organizations (2)
Venues & Event Spaces (2)
Professional Sports Teams (2)
Television Stations (2)
Hair Salons (2)
Museums (2)
Caterers (2)
Southern (2)
Funeral Services & Cemeteries (2)
Stadiums & Arenas (2)
Jewelry (2)
Tapas Bars (2)
Public Transportation (2)
Jazz & Blues (2)
Cheese Shops (2)
Bowling (2)
Newspapers & Magazines (2)
Vegetarian (2)
Indian/Pakistani (2)
Adult (2)
Dance Clubs (2)
Thai (2)
Doctors (1)
Korean (1)
Videos and Video Game Rental (1)
Art Galleries (1)
Hardware Stores (1)
Accessories (1)
Amusement Parks (1)
Veterinarians (1)
Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt (1)
Eyewear & Opticians (1)
Nail Salons (1)
Playgrounds (1)
Specialty Schools (1)
Music & DVD's (1)
Tours (1)
Creperies (1)
Leather Goods (1)
Russian (1)
Comic Books (1)
Zoos (1)
Optometrists (1)
Automotive (1)
Taxis (1)
Day Spas (1)
Tobacco Shops (1)
Comedy Clubs (1)
Libraries (1)
Hair Removal (1)
Party & Event Planning (1)
Shoe Stores (1)
Adult Entertainment (1)
Scandinavian (1)
Real Estate (1)
Car Dealers (1)
Women's Clothing (1)
Beaches (1)
Print Media (1)
Ethnic Food (1)
Tennis (1)
Spanish/Basque (1)
Convenience Stores (1)
Furniture Stores (1)
Botanical Gardens (1)
Home Services (1)
Cuban (1)
Seafood Markets (1)
Brazilian (1)
Middle Eastern (1)
African (1)
Buffets (1)
Health Markets (1)
Bagels (1)
Apartments (1)
Antiques (1)
Post Offices (1)
Latin American (1)
Irish (1)
Ethiopian (1)

These are now lost to me. Is this fair? Is it reasonable? Nobody thinks that. I want them back Jeremy, you answer to the question, who is a fuckwad?

I Enjoyed Writing about Cemeteries

Here are two for you to read.

Rosehill Cemetery & Mausolium
Category: Funeral Services & Cemeteries Neighborhood: Edgewater

When I was a child it wasn't uncommon to spend an afternoon searching through a cemetery. My mom studied our family genealogy and I remember lots of quality time spent looking for graves. It was an odd feeling when I found one of my middle names on a very old grave somewhere in Texas. Odd, yet cool.

We would even have a picnic in the cemetery. Yep. Egg salad and headstones.

I love Rosehill for many reasons. It's old. It's beautiful. There is a huge civil war section of graves. There's a Jewish side to it. And it makes for a lovely walk any time of year.
04/13/2008

5 star rating
First to Review
7200 Archer Rd Justice, IL 60458 (708) 458-4770

Resurrection Cemetary & Mausoleums
Category: Funeral Service & Cemetaries

It's got a ghost. Her name is Resurrection Mary. Many drivers on Archer Avenue have reported encounters with her. This has been going on for over 60 years now.Pretty cool stuff.But don't go looking for her on purpose. I had a friend who did and his car stopped dead right outside the gates. Boo!

http://www.yelp.com/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FResurrection_Mary
04/14/2008

Of course I don't have my review of Graceland. Because that colostomy bag named Jeremy won't return it.

Naked - Another review

Another small, or not so small lesson for the kids on Yelp.Naked = good. As much as I adore the frilly stuff? Eventually it's gonna get naked out. Naked with a chance of possible good sex. Or just a wonderful feeling of being natural.

Learn to love your body. Large, medium, small - all good my darlings. All good. To really love yourself is perhaps one of the most freeing things possible. To really allow yourself to be yourself? Nothing better. So take off your clothes. Prance around. Dance around. Enjoy it. Let it be. You were born this way. Think about that.
04/15/2008
Useful (7)

This was a review I wrote just slightly before I was booted off of yelp.

How ya doin' Jeremy? May I have my work back you cunt?

So are you selling Yelp Jerry?

All the recent purges (or pogroms, as I prefer to call them) suggest you're trying to clean up the playground to make it as "clean" as you can. People are dropping like flies in SF. Curious.

http://sramanamitra.com/2008/04/01/deal-radar-2008-yelp/

http://web2innovations.com/money/2008/02/27/yelp-200m-valuation-31m-total-funding-8m-uniuqes-seo-–-all-for-local-reviews/

Do you the news media may be interested in it? I sure do.

Now give me back my shit. And we're done. Penis-face.

Music Soothes the Savage Max

Time to take a break and breath.

My favorite Chopin Nocturne:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kj3CHx3TDzw&feature=related

Still want my work back you fucking onestroke.

Kisses.