I haven't been posting for many reasons. Once again things brought me back to places I don't want to go to. I can't stand to read the news. But how does one avoid it? So much horror. So much terror. And why? And why does it pain me so much? I have no idea. It just does. The ugly side of this world makes me want to leave it. But I'm not going.
This whole blog started because I was so angry. Being disrespected by Yelp seemed to be cathartic to me. It wasn't Yelp. It was the world. A world where when someone speaks truth, they are silenced. A world where wrongs are so very rarely righted. A world where when a woman dares to speak... she is made to shut the fuck up.
For some time I thought it wasn't a world I wanted to live in. And yet... What would the world be without me? I am either a force or I am a weakness. You have to walk the walk if you want to talk the talk.
This world... this world. How we put one foot in front of the other seems hard to me. But there is still beauty. Beauty through pain, perhaps. Think of Vincent. Think of all we've lost to pain. Think of how our life force moves others. If I have given anyone joy? Then perhaps my purpose has been met. And it's a beautiful day. And living is a gift. And I am going to try my best to embrace it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUS49XSN6Zs
3 comments:
Me. You've given me joy. I like reading your posts whether it's mellow or with some angst. I look up to you Max, as someone else that can relate to you on the level of being wronged yet trying to make it right or atleast coping with it. I'm not as eloquent or as wise as you but you're relatable to me. I hope you keep writing.
Thanks my darling.
I try. And I'm trying. But life can sucker punch you on occasion.
Max
Yep, sometimes you are given a double decker shit sammich. It makes the wonderful, sweet and unexpected that much more so.
I,too, enjoy reading your thoughts and am glad that you are pluggin' along, like so many of us. Fake it,'til you make it and look for the butterflies on the horseshit! Not much of a choice, but a choice, all the same.
Much love to you.....
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