A Very Stupid Woman Part V

“ANNOYANCE #7

You turn down sex.

When it so happens that we're the one who wants sex and you're the one who doesn't, we find your refusal to be confusing and irritating. Reassure us that we're attractive and that you love us, but that you just aren't in the mood. It helps to throw out a hint at what's going on--that you're tired, depressed, anxious at work, whatever, says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a Boston-area psychologist. That way we won't obsess or be too pouty or aggressive. If we happen to be fresh off a girls' night out liquored up and ready for sex, which you're refusing, tread extra carefully. Horny can change to emotional, crying wreckage very quickly when your girl has a couple of glasses of Prosecco in her.”

If you don’t know how to properly seduce a man? You don’t deserve him.

It’s as easy as making grilled cheese girl. One, two, blast off. Really.

A man rejecting your advances means far more than sex. He’s pissed.

As any thinking man would be towards a woman playing such horrid games.

“ANOYANCE #6

You blatantly look at porn.

We don't care that you masturbate, and we can't change the fact that you might occasionally browse the fine and varied selection of naked ladies on the Internet. But if you're looking at porn on a computer we also use, kindly delete your history. We don't want amazonbabes.com to pop up every time we want to do some shopping or, worse, when your mother's over and an underwearless young starlet showing her bald spot appears as we're showing Mom something online.”

This one is making me slightly insane. Become familiar with your computer. Erase the history if it disturbs you. We’re in a time where this stuff isn’t going away.

And buy your mom a computer for the love of god. Then look at her history. You may be surprised.

What on earth is wrong with porn? It may be the only thing that’s allowing you a sex life if you’re truly this uptight.

Men masturbate? There’s news. Guess what? Women do too. Some women even enjoy porn. News flash – Sex is for all us. As is the great pleasure of it.

And if I saw that my guy was looking at clean plates constantly? I’d be heading to the salon PDQ. Give a man what he wants? You’ll both be happy.

I’m actually starting to feel very sad for you. Wearing your inability to understand people on your sleeve is most unattractive.