How does Yelp Work? Like this. A review that got "flagged".

Hi Max, I'm writing to let you know about our decision to remove your review of The Chicago Firehouse Restaurant. Your review was flagged by the Yelp community, and our Customer Service team has determined that it falls outside our review guidelines: http://www.yelp.com/faq#great_review. We review every situation with detail and care and take the removal of reviews very seriously. Regards,StacyYelp User Support

Removed Review:This is going to be my longest review ever. So make yourself a drink, pull up a chair and relax. First, indulge me and let me give you the back story. We went here on Thanksgiving for the buffet. First impression was lovely. It's a very beautiful space. We were seated at our reserved time in a little room called "The Mayors Room".

She tried to seat us by the set-up counter. I told her we would prefer the window table. She seated us there. So far, so good. Albeit, a little cold. Here's where it started going south. There were only three other parties in the room. All in various stages of their meals. So it's obvious that the server isn't slammed or in the weeds. No waiter. No waitress. Nothing. Fifteen minutes before a young woman named Theresa shows up. He orders a bloody mary - some fancy concoction with WAY too much shit in it. I order a Belini. I thought it was a mimosa. Didn't like it. It wasn't cold and it was sort of thick. So I point to a glass of champagne on the wine list.

In the meantime, he asks for a small side plate so he can take some of the garnish out of his drink. More time ticks bye. She returns to ask me what kind of champagne it was I wanted. We've now been here about 25 minutes. I once again point. Also, no side dish. She returns once more to say the bartender is opening the champagne. Ok? Still no plate for him. It took me over 35-40 minutes to get one glass of champagne.

But she was nice enough, after being asked again, to bring us a coffee saucer for his garnishes. That'a girl. We watched her struggle with every table. She did not know how to open wine correctly. I felt badly for her but there was just no way this young woman should have been serving at this capacity in a place like Chicago Firehouse. She had no table awareness. When she was in the room she would only concentrate on the table in front of her. It's called an eye-check honey. You scan your tables to make sure they don't need another glass of wine, etc. She even came to our table near the end of the meal to apologize for her service! Jeepers. To add insult to injury, there was a forced 20% tip on the check. We were never told about that apon making the reservations, nor apon confirming them. Not good. Not good at all. I speak breifly to a hostess named Gloria on our way out. She says to call Vananesia (that's how it's spelled on the card), or to Janize (yes).

I call Friday and have a long talk with Vananesia about the level of service. She apologizes and says she's going to speak to the waitress and to another manager and will take care of the situtation. She asks me to call again on Monday. I do. She tells me she spoke to Theresa, and yes, she remembered us and felt her service was sub-par. She offeres me a $50 gift certificate. I say that's unacceptable. We paid over $140 for a dinner we were not happy with and what's more, your server and you both admit that it was a bad experience. She insists that this is all she can do. And then begins to badger me about accepting the $50 certificate! I ask if there's someone else I can speak to. She tells me to call Janize in the morning. She does end the conversation with "So shall I leave the gift certificate at the front desk?" I simply say "Absolutley not." I speak with Janize. She's pleasant and helpful and apologetic and asks that we please give them another chance and says she will refund the full price of the meal in certificates, if I wish. I say yes. I give her my address. As of today, still no certificates. A friend of mine who owns a restaurant tells me that a lot of their management walked out lately.

I call again today and speak to Gloria Serrano. I briefly tell her the situtation. Then I ask if there's something going on at the restaurant. She says no. I say, well that's funny because I heard a lot of your management has left. She says "they are in transisition." So, "Yes?" I ask. Yes. Bad meal. Bad service. Bad management. Pushy management. Indifferent management and lying management. The sextet of suck. I will be happy to take this review down, when and if they make things right. But as it stands right now, No way.

Followup: BUT I didn't have to take the review down. Because The Firehouse is a paying customer of Yelp. So they remove real reviews for real money. Sweet.

Hi J! A friend of mine is looking into the TOS. Seems as though your fellas may have missed something! Ha! Now give me my work back and this ends. If not, I'm only getting started. So do the right thing you screwknot.

Kiss it,

Max